Passive: don’t react, don’t do anything when things happen or people do things to you. Just think about how bad it was and how good you are not to react. Wait until you have had all you can take then become Aggressive.
Aggressive: push your beliefs onto others; make them understand, make them think the way you do. Don’t let them have a different opinion, plan or thought.
Assertive. State your feelings about the situation. Say it clearly, with a smile if possible. Don’t force your will on others, you can’t change other people only yourself. Accept it if they don’t change what you want them to or act how you want, but let them know politely and firmly how you feel about it. Use I statements:
I feel _(emotion)____ when ___________(this happens)_________ and I want _____________________ (payment, restitution, a change in the future.
Avoid the word you or your; avoid blame; avoid threats.
You won’t necessarily get what you want, but you surely won’t by being aggressive.
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And then there's the "passive aggressive" which may mean something like pretend you're not reacting, but behind their back you sabotage things. Or you engineer damages by letting on not to be in on the disagreement. Glenn
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